Up and Down

Up and Down. Up and down. One minute I am feeling confident that I will see a heartbeat during the ultrasound at my next appt. in two weeks. Then, the very next minute, I prepare myself for how I will take the miscarriage news. I have my appt. on a Tuesday. The doctor's surgery day is Wednesday, so, he could get me in the next morning for a D&C. I would still be able to meet my Mom's group at the pumpkin patch later that morning, which would be a nice distraction from the baby being ripped out of my body. I would have to wait & then I could start trying for a September baby. But, I may not try again. I may elect to declare us a one child family at that point. The emotions behind TTC and early first trimester are just too high. It ruins my mental quality of life. I am normally a happy person.