The holiday that just won't stop!

Christmas went really well. Aside from Sean messing up my computer, everything went as planned. That is, Christmas Day went just as planned. After Christmas, Sean and I were going to have seven days to ourselves. We were going to complete several small tasks around the house and work on potty training Stephen. Famous last wish...

Right before Christmas, Sean's Grandmother, a wonderful woman, passed away. She died very shortly after her husband died. It was very much a "Where the Red Fern Grows" type of story.

So, the day after Christmas, we said good-bye to my parents, and left for Florida. The trip there was rough. We hit traffic, we had bad waiters, we had cranky, non-sharing kids. We were with my brother-in-law and niece. We spent the night in a hotel room listening to people argue at 2:30am. It was not quiet time at home for sure.

We did arrive in time for the funeral. Stephen was not quiet enough for us to sit in the funeral, but they did have a room next to the chapel where I could hear the service and Stephen could squirm.

Once we got to our beach condo, every time we could go outside, it would start to rain. We were inside with few toys and two kids that were bad at sharing and good at arguing. Potty training was a distant memory.

When we returned home, brother-in-law and niece spent the night with us waiting for their kennel so they could pick up their dog.

The trip had it's positive points. Funerals always make people put aside their plans and come together. Because of Lu's passing, we were able to see Aunt Mary Marsha, Uncle Larry, Cousin Christie, Cousin Katy, Jason and Britten. We had great time to catch up and plenty of good conversations. We were able to be there to support Larry and Dennis as they became parentless, something they feel they don't quite fully feel yet. Although funerals are sad for us, it's not sad for Lu.

Here's one of the few pictures I got from the precious few moments we had on the beach:
  Sean pushing the kids in the cart upon arrival.
 
 
 

19wks4days

This pregnancy:

 

My last pregnancy:

 

My weight gain has been small, but I feel like I am bigger at this stage of the game. We will see what the ultrasound measures on Wednesday!

A Day at the Beach.... in December!

Today my Moms group activity fell through. Kids were sick, moms were busy.
After debating what I should do, I decided to pack up Stephen and hit the beach before the cold front came through. I am so glad I made this decision! We had such a great time! The weather was PERFECT. It was sunny, with a breeze, and in the low 70's. I was in shorts and a t-shirt. Stephen started in pants, but I took the pants off of him when he wanted to go wading like Gracie. It was plently warm for a good wade.
We will do this again. I will do the exact routine again. We went to a pocket park today. It's free, and I suspected it would be empty so I could let Gracie off the leash. I was right. I quickly decided the beach was a great activity for us today. I didn't have to chase Stephen as much as I would in a public place and Gracie could go. Gracie has been begging to go on a car ride & go somewhere...anywhere. I took the jogging stroller and loaded it up. I only had a few toys. You don't need too many toys at the beach. Stephen was happy enough with things at the beach.
After awhile at the beach, I cleaned up Stephen (in the ocean), changed his clothes(in the back of the Montero) and we headed to McAlister's deli for lunch. Lunch was PERFECT. They had mac & cheese for Stephen and a large window to look out onto the beach. I could easily watch the car with Gracie in it.
This was a GREAT morning. I can't wait to do it again with someone and share the fun!

 

Stephen walking on the beach. He had lots and lots of exploring to do. There were not a lot of places to hide, so I didn't have to stay on top of him the whole time. However, I did because I did see some jellyfish & wanted to make sure he knew those were "danger".

 

Cute close-up. Look at the blue, blue, warm sky!

 

 

Walking, Gracie close behind. Good dog, huh??

Dec 5th and 10th

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days:

Picture of Stephen in the "snow" at the mall, Moms Group activity

 

Stephen's friend, Caylie

 

My bassoon students after we played at a retirement community Monday

 

A picture of Stephen and me after the bassoon performance

 

Funny Stephen Story

Stephen has gotten creative during my shower time in the morning. He no longer just sits and watches cartoons. He jumps on the bed, he empties out drawers, and he pesters the animals. Today he was jumping on the bed and decided to sample reed diffuser oil (apparently not harmful, I called Poison control). Yesterday he came and told me, "Mommy, Christmas tree fall down." Luckily, it was just his small tree and not the large family tree.

Several weeks ago, I came out of the bathroom to find Stephen "wearing" my shorts. He looked so cute. Then he turned around. I almost lost it. It was SO funny. He had a maxi pad stuck to his rear! I grabbed the camera!

 

From the front.

 

From the back.

 

Belly Pic

 

Well-today is 15wks pregnant. Wow. I feel I "popped" over the Thanksgiving holidays. Does that mean I ate a lot? I don't know. What an awkward time to "pop" though! In this picture I am sucking in. Looking back at pictures from my last pgcy, I can't remember if I was sucking in or not; so, to help me make better mental notes, I am sucking in. Beth's pictures sure come out better.

The Dream Baby

As this baby grows, I find myself wondering what this baby will be like. What will this baby bring to our lives. There are several things that rocked our world with Stephen. There are many ways where we have it really easy with Stephen. Here is my dream baby, compared to Stephen:

I would like this baby to:

*eat just like Stephen. He's not a picky eater.

*Few temper tantrums, just like Stephen

*Not very many dare-devil moments just like Stephen

*Have Stephen's overall good health

*breastfeed easily like Stephen did

I would like for this baby to:

*sleep through the night reliably many, many months before Stephen did

*be more comfortable with other caregivers

Okay-so--that's easy. Right????

Another ticker.
This one's due date is May 22nd.

It seems like the EDD changes every time I go into the doctor. This EDD is based off of my first ultrasound, so I would guess it is the most reliable one!

Lots of people are expecting their baby at the same time as me. It is neat to share this time with them!

I am starting to get anxious about knowing the gender. I also want to see a healthy baby in the BIG ultrasound that will happen after the New Year.

I had a little bit of sickness at the beginning, but when the book stated, "this week your placenta starts to take over hormonally", I could tell because my appetite changed...I didn't mind eating again. I have been feeling a lot of fatigue with this pregnancy. I have been tired, tired. It stinks to be tired. I guess I better get used to it...but I look forward to being on the other side!

Another Picture

 

Here is the camping picture. We took this right before we left. Apparently Stephen is really tired in this picture. He slept for three hours and forty minutes during the car ride home.

Inks Lake Trip Nov 1-4

We took a trip to Inks Lake. My parents were nice enough to let us borrow their 5th wheel, so we weren't truly camping. We even had an internet connection! We had so much fun that we look forward to doing it again before the baby comes!


A picture of Daddy and Stephen our first morning at Inks Lake.

Stephen practices recognizing letters using a park sign.

After Daddy showed Stephen how to fish, he practiced on his own for awhile

Maternity pics

Here are my starter maternity pictures that Beth took! I am 10 weeks pregnant here.

 

 

 

 

There's a Heartbeat

We went for a doctor's appointment last week. The nurse escorted Sean and I to the room where my doctor does the ultrasounds. She turned the machine on and left the room. Sean and I were left waiting for what seemed like forever. I had some spotting that morning. I was feeling so confident about things being OKay...until that morning. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor came in & showed us the baby, the perfect little heart beating, the perfect gestational sac, a healthy cervix, and gave us every reassurance that everything was fine. Great. We may have a May baby. Things are going well. When I came home, I ordered a doppler off of heartones.com. I was able to hear the baby's heartbeat before 10wks of pregnancy. So, everytime I have a fear now, I can turn on my machine & hear a heartbeat and rest knowing everything is fine. It's the most beautiful sound. I can't beat that in my music. Now I wait for the 20 week ultrasound for possible health concerns...but for now, we've crossed one hurdle.

Up and Down

Up and Down. Up and down. One minute I am feeling confident that I will see a heartbeat during the ultrasound at my next appt. in two weeks. Then, the very next minute, I prepare myself for how I will take the miscarriage news. I have my appt. on a Tuesday. The doctor's surgery day is Wednesday, so, he could get me in the next morning for a D&C. I would still be able to meet my Mom's group at the pumpkin patch later that morning, which would be a nice distraction from the baby being ripped out of my body. I would have to wait & then I could start trying for a September baby. But, I may not try again. I may elect to declare us a one child family at that point. The emotions behind TTC and early first trimester are just too high. It ruins my mental quality of life. I am normally a happy person.

New Ticker

Here is the new ticker I have that uses the due date my doctor gave me, May 23rd.



Here is the e-mail I sent to my friends to describe the appointment:

My appt. was WEIRD.

So weird.

First, the doc tells me he won't see anything different in my exam because it's
too early-
my cervix won't have changed and my uterus won't be enlarged. Hmmm. Okay. So,
he
does the exam and says that he was right... my cervix is closed & my uterus is normal sized (not enlarged yet) & that I have
a cyst on
my right ovary-so, we know I ovulated from my right ovary (that's kinda cool to
know).

SO, he says the blood test will be his way of seeing levels of HCG & I am off to
the blood
draw place.

I leave just frantic. I am thinking, "I did only use one brand of test", "I
haven't tested
recently",

So, I go to CVS, pick up a test, run by the church and take it & it pops up
preggo fast. So,
with water logged urine (drank lots of water for urine test), in the middle of
the afternoon,
First response quickly told me I was preggo. So, I must have a decent concentration of HCG.

I go get my blood drawn & since my anxiety is at an all time high I get a little
nausea &
have to lay back down after the blood is drawn (I always have to lay down during
the blood
draw)

So-I really don't come home feeling everything is great-but not bad, either. I
just need
time. The doc did say I could have my heartbeat US earlier. Instead of his
usual 9 weeks,
he'll do mine at 8wks (without me even asking him too). He said I could count
on a May
baby, things would go well...he was re-assuring.

When I left, they gave my the hospital registration stuff...but didn't set my
next appt!
UGH! So, I figure I will wait until Tuesday, call & get my HCG level & get a
reaction or non-
reaction about setting my next appointment.

I think this is mostly an appt problem. The appt person set my 1st appt too
early & didn't
set this appt! BUT-at least I'll get an earlier US out of the deal..meaning, if
it is a MC, at
least I will know one week earlier...but I reallly think God wants me to see a
heartbeat
earlier to help me relax earlier.

I am starting to have more bb pain. I hope that continues to strengthen over
the next
couple of days. That will help me get through the weekend. Really, though, I
feel
confident.

First trimester Anxiety begins

I started spotting!!! Already!! Now, for those of you that don't know, I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son. So, miscarriage is not just a fear for me, it is a reality. I almost feel like I have to have a miscarriage before I can have a healthy pregnancy. I hope history does not repeat itself! I would like to be convinced that a positive pregnancy test can mean a healthy baby in about 9 months! But-there's not much you can do to calm yourself in the first trimester. Especially this early, you don't feel a baby moving, you haven't seen a baby on an US, and you just don't have any signs of being pregnant except for a pee stick that says "pregnant". And, the morning I learned I was miscarrying, I got a pregnant reading from one of these tests. SO, I have resided myself to worrying. I am telling myself it is OKay to worry, it's only natural. But-I won't let worrying be the only thing going on in my life.

How did I get to this worry this time?
Saturday I took a 15 mile bike ride. I have done 3 triathlons this season & felt well trained. Instead of riding 17-18 mph, I rode 15 mph. I took it down a notch. I came home to find bleeding, which has been common since I got my new bike. But then I got brown spotting that was coming from inside, ending what was common. That scared the bejeebers out of me. I also had back cramping. But-all has subsided. By Sunday afternoon, everything was calm...except me, but I am calming down. I am writing this blog to myself, to remind myself that I don't want to go through these fears anymore. I am excited to be pregnant, I hope this pregnancy lasts in my heart or hearts, but I don't want this emotional anxiety anymore. It's not good for me and it's not good for my family! We want one more kid & I can't let baby fever talk me into more than two! I do get baby fever!

We're Expecting

We found out today that we're expecting baby #2!!! Happy times on a day that has become gloomy in the USA. Like 9-11-01, this day will probably change our lives forever, too.