Do Over

I am calling for a "do over" on Christmas for us! I need Christmas just to wait a few more days and then it can come.



I believe this picture really is a good picture of our holiday. It's not candy, cookies, a nativity scene. It's not magic, it's not wonder, it's not a family all smiling at the camera, fake or not. It's not stockings hanging by the fire. It's laundry.

This weekend I arranged to take the family to Moody Gardens so Sean and I could spend some quality time alone with our kids way from the daily distractions. This was going to be the start to our holiday season. I can't say that anything fell into place like it should have during this trip.
So-that laundry is hanging in the shower in the Moody Gardens hotel...it's there because Joshua puked all over me and all over himself. We rinsed it off in the bath and hung it up in the cool laundry hanger stuff they had in the shower. That was just the beginning of Joshua's problems. He got sick and stayed sick. Sick and miserable. He didn't eat well and didn't sleep well. When he did fall asleep the 2nd night for the night, Stephen woke him up, which led to a very long, painful process of me trying to get him back to sleep. We actually packed up all of our stuff and went home when I did get him back to sleep.

We have not had a Silent Night. Mommy is not kissing Santa Claus. We haven't even tried to make the home a scene of Chestnuts roasting by any open fire.

So, here on the day before Christmas, I took Joshua to the doctor's office. On my way to the office, I called Beth.
Now-this is real-this is the conversations SAHMs have:
Me: "We're on the way to the doctor. The office is closed tomorrow and the 26th, so, I figured we would just try and get in today. It's probably good, he started to get a fever last night."
Beth: "Well, I surely hope he has an ear infection"
Me: [laughing] "yes, I hope there is truly something awful so I know I am not out of my mind and can't handle the simple cold in a kid. I hope I don't just get told to ride it out for 7-10 days"

Yes, we truly do hope for something when we take our kids to the doctor. We hope that the doctor is going to be able to provide some sort of solution for our kid's misery-but it's because we want hope that our own misery is going to end. I mean, afterall, it's Christmas. We have tender family issues we are dancing around, we have last minute gifts to think about, and a big breakfast to prepare last minute. We *need* the doctor to say that the child does indeed have a problem that can be fixed with a potion because it's one thing that will be better. And, indeed, Joshua did come home with a script for antibiotics to cure his double ear infection. YAY! After I made it clear to the pharmacy that I did need this filled soon so I could get 2 doses in my child today, I came home to start enjoying Christmas by relaxing.

I have come to to resolve that God does have a plan. All year I have been trying to make this holiday season less chaotic than previous years. I have turned down musical gigs. I shopped for many gifts early this year. I don't have people coming to visit. Well, we are hosting breakfast tomorrow morning. But-God gave us disease in our youngest, diagnosed disease. Now we really need to stay close to home so he can rest, so we can all rest. God gave us rest so we can all truly reflect on the reason for the season. A baby Jesus, a time where it's not all about me or us or our problems.